Where the Dark Stands Still by A.B. Poranek

5/5 stars

SPOILER ALERT

Holy...devestation. This book absolutely shattered my heart, oh my god I was entirely unprepared for how deeply I was going to love this.

I'll start off by saying that the writing and imagery was so ethereal and gothic and gory and disturbing and so, so beautiful. I know absolutely nothing about the Polish language or culture, so I did have to do some google translating, but it never took me out of the story too much, and I feel like I learned a little bit more about some old-timey pagan folklore. But again, I know very little about Polish culture and history, so if there were any inconsistencies, I would be the last person to know.

I love a dark, moody fantasy and this delivered. Some of my favorite reads in my life involve sentient houses and an often-times sarcastic, but always lovable, ghost sidekick. I would absolutely fall in love with Jaga in cat form or dog form, with her little quips and dramatics. I cannot be convinced that she didn't love Eliasz and Liska just as much as they loved her, even if it was a bit begrudging on the end of the Leszy.

I adored all of the characters we meet throughout the story. Liska's evolution from a timid, broken down, terrified girl into someone who doesn't fear the spirits and demons in the woods and falls back in love with her magic and her power was so beautiful and inspirational. The Leszy's transformation from a grouchy, unenthused 700-year old demon into a sassy, adoring, self-sacrificing man was both heartwarming and gut wrenching. Jaga, Maksio, and Kaszimiera, all are so charming in their own ways and they create such a wonderful found family for Liska. I also loved that the relationship with Liska and her mom didn't get tied up in a nice little bow with her mother miraculously accepting Liska for who she is and Liska forgiving her mother for trying to force her into a box that she was too big and powerful to fit in, because that isn't always the reality.

As someone who grew up around the church (and no longer believes in the church), I related to a lot of the conflicting feelings that Liska had about her faith and religion. The juxtaposition between Weles, the only "god" in the book (other than capital "g" God), being the villan and the Leszy, the main "demon", being the hero was a fun, if not predictable, spin. I feel like some of my old anger with the Catholic church was healed by Liska falling in love with the demon and him turning out to be the softest, gooiest, most gentle man despite the things he had to do keep the Driada alive and Weles getting the axe.

When Liska learned what the Leszy's original plan was for her when she first arrived at the manor in search of that all-powerful flower that would take away her magic, I felt the betrayal right alongside Liska. I was so gutted for her at the realization that she was supposed to be his seventh sacrifice to Weles, and his devastation at seeing her so hurt by him was palpable.

The whole underlying story of Liska sneaking around the manor and having to learn her magic in order to uncover the Leszy's secrets was so fun to follow - it was like a twisted, spooky game of hide and seek with the house goading her on. I know he was supposed to be a scary, rotting, grotesque spirit, but I loved the hound. I always had a feeling that he was going to be good, and I nearly lost it when he brought Liska to his bones so that he could move on, only to have her keep one of his teeth, unintentionally keeping Florian tied to the manor. The Leszy being a bisexual king was not something I saw coming, but after meeting Florian for only about one second in the book, I get why the Leszy would have fallen in love with him. He was so charming and goofy, even as he was showing Liska his corpse in the temple and revealing some truly devestating truths.

Now... the devestation. He died. Eliasz, the Leszy, died. Actually died. Fully killed himself, while Liska was holding on to him. I am a crybaby to my core, but not many books have made me truly cry. This one did. Eliasz giving over all of his power to Liska and stabbing himself in the heart, absolutely gutted me. I felt my heart drop into my stomach. It made me cry. And as much as I hated that his story ended that way, I loved it. So many fantasy books kill off the main character or the twin soul or mate only for them to magically come back to life through the power of love not long after, so you never fully have to grieve their loss. I entirely expected that to happen here. I thought he would sacrifice himself to kill the part of Weles that was still in him, she would have loved him so much that her magic combined with his magic now in her would have burst out of her and brought him back to life. Or all that time he spent trying to teach her the reincarnation spell would have worked and she would have brought him back to life. But that didn't happen. He well and truly died, only for his spirit to linger in the Driada in stag form, but her touch always goes through him. And here is where my delusion comes in to make me feel better. The last line says that one night, her touch doesn't go through him. So I have convinced myself that somehow, after however many years of him being gone, she's able to bring him back and they live happily ever after raising Maksio and have a foster for magical kids who's parents don't know how to deal with their powers or are brainwashed by the church into thinking their evil. They care for the Driada and all the mischevous spirits that live there, now uninhibited by the wood-demon, and they spend the rest of their lives together in their perfect, cozy manor. I will accept no other ending to their story.

All of this to say, this was a perfect, cozy, spooky, magical story unlike any I've read before and there's a very high likelihood that I will end up reading this again. I can absolutely see this becoming a comfort book for me.