Fearless by Lauren Roberts

1.5/5 stars

SPOILERS AHEAD

At least Lauren Roberts did something... different, I guess.

I am so, so glad that I'm done with this. I felt like I was going genuinely insane during this entire book. I started this book excited to bounce back from the very average second book in the series, and I ended it hating every single character, and only glad that I listened to it on audiobook at 1.5x speed so I finished it quicker.

I swear to you, I was going to actually lose my mind if I heard the words cockroach, cocky bastard, inevitable, my pretty Pae, darling, pretend, vicious little thing, or the phrase "I would do (insert some insanely corny and unreasonable thing here) for the rest of my life, if only you would let me" one more time. I made a note about 44% of the way through, that it was already starting to get old, and the line that kicked it off was "Oh, darling, I would do so much worse if only you asked. Or, even more difficult, so much better." It was so unbelievably insufferable that I physically could not stop myself from rolling my eyes. I bet if you looked up how many times the word "darling" is in this book, it would be at least five hundred million. Two and a half books in and they're still threatening each other with knives, shocked when the other shows an ounce of kindness or interest, or drowning in each others eyes.

I absolutely loved Kai in the first book, tolerated him but still had hopes for him in the second book, and have the most insane ick from him after this third book. I mean, truly, I have never read a more whiny, pathetic, toxic man in my life. The "internal struggle" he had about Paedyn getting married to his brother was only because he had no plans to stop seeing her, not because he actually felt bad about what he was doing. That is so sociopathic. He was quite literally the worst brother I have ever read about in my life (okay dramatic, I know but Kitt was literally wasting away right beneath his nose and he's sneaking around making out with Kitt's "bethrothed', passing off notes about how much they love each other, and fucking her on the night before their wedding like come on). All of this spouting off about how much he loves his brother, but Kitt is fully dying right in front of him and he's only a little bit suspicious something is going on? And oh my god, can we talk about how much he bitched and moaned and cried over Kitt and Paedyn being married becuase he couldn't fathom the fact that she was his wife, MUCH LESS HIS HALF-SIBLING? Like be so fucking for real, how are you still jealous of them being married when they are quite literally more related than you and Kitt are. Why was nobody nearly as concerned about the fact that they were siblings. I cannot get over this.

I liked Paedyn in the first book, thought she was kind of annoying in the second book, and also could not stand her by the end of this third book. Arguably just as whiny as Kai, and equally as shitty of a person. I cannot get over how icky it was to me that she and Kai literally got married on top of Kitt's grave and that they just reused the ring he gave her. Also, there were a couple of moments there in the middle where I thought we were going to go a little Credence with it... making the three of them dance at the ball was super weird vibes and I definitely thought we were going in a throuple, incesty kind of direction.

JUSTICE FOR KITT. I DEMAND JUSTICE FOR KITT. This was without a doubt the worst character evolution I have ever experienced in my life. It's like Lauren Roberts knew that all of the readers wanted Kai and Paedyn to end up together but that we all had a soft spot for Kitt, so she what? Turns him into some evil, power hungry, daddy-issue, jealous, murderous creep? With such little build up? Oh but don't worry, he snaps back to himself right before the light fades from his eyes just to give Kai his wedding ring and tell him that he and Paedyn need to love each other "for him". Oh brother. There was so much planted throughout the book about him being sick that she could have just let him die of an illness while keeping his dignity and not make me literally scoff out loud because he has to suddenly, all at once, go on an insane rant about how much he hates Paedyn because Kai loves her more? That's so weak and against everything that we learned to love about Kitt in the first two books and deserved so much more than that. Just throw the whole book away and rewrite Kitt's entire storyline because I hated it and do not accept it.

I get that it was to show that he went mad because of the illness but that brings up an entirely separate beef that I have with this book. Why, the fuck, did the plague have to be manmade. There was absolutely no reason for that whatsoever. Honestly the whole book was such a cluster-fuck of mic drop plot twists that I was just so sick of it. Calum being her dad, Calum being the kings right hand man all along, Paedyn actually being royalty, Kitt and Paedyn being siblings, Kai and Kitt not being brothers at all, the plague being manmade, Kitt tweaking out because he took a dose of the plague and lost his mind but not entirely I guess because he kind of always hated Paedyn (?), Mak randomly showing up in the storyline and being another wielder, the king dosing Ava when she was a kid and killing her, and on and on. There were just too many huge plot twists and big moments and they all lacked tension because they would be immediately resolved in the next chapter.

I couldn't even really tell you what happened in the middle of the book other than Paedyn being thrown back into the trials (hello Hunger Games) and having to desecrate a tomb, fight a sea monster (that was enhanced because of the plague or the elites or something), and then kill Kai but it wasn't actually Kai. All of this happened in like... two months also? The rest of it was what I have to assume was supposed to be intense yearning and tension between the three of them but ended up being whiny, overdone, cringy moments that just happened over and over. Lather, rinse, repeat.

What even ended up happening with the winner of the original trials? Who won? Did we ever even find out? Was it Blair because she won the last trial? I thought it was based on who the people liked or something? Do I even care? I don't know.

And of course we had to wrap it up with a five-years later epilogue where they have a kid of their own who apparently loves corn and Paedyn's nemisis who she thought she killed is miraculously in a completely different city that they both happen to be in but it's okay because Paedyn has grown up and chooses peace over violence. But then we have the ending of Kitt's story stuck in some purgatory or weird other-world forever being alone and haunted and miserable? The hits keep coming for poor Kitt, and I will forever not be cool with how his story went.

I don't know, I'm exhausted this was too much and not enough all at once.

Oh, one more thing. I have to put the worst line I've ever read in a book here to memorialize it forever: "Kai, this is no longer a matter of life or death. This is...this is until death do us part." COME ON. Horrible.

Going to go pull my brain out and stick it in the dishwasher now.